Lately, it's been hard for me thinking about the "what-ifs".  Our life was supposed to be so perfect.  My brother and his wife and kids had just moved up.  We were working on getting my sister and her husband and kids up here.  It was going to work out so perfectly.  Then, dad got diagnosed and everything changed.  I knew nothing would be perfect for a long time.  Even my sense of perfect would be changed forever.  I'm so scared to return to school.  I'm just wondering how everyone is going to treat me.  I don't want to be treated weird or for people to ignore me just cause they're uncomfortable about the whole situation.  Well, if they think they're uncomfortable, that is just ridiculous.  They have no idea what I'm going through.

Last night I had a new sign from my Dad.  You know how if you look at a really bright image and then look away that image just stays in your eyesight for a few seconds.  Well, I saw that kind of image of my Dad's smiling face.  It gave me so much peace.  I had been crying before then, but after that I stopped and I think it was just my dad's way of letting me know that he is still watching over me and with me all the time.

I miss you and love you Daddy! Rest in peace.<3