Saturday, June 18, 2011

Father's Day is missing someone very important...

So, summer has finally come and with it more grief unffortunately. Little memories ache as they come across my mind. Family vacations are not always something to look fonward to now, but are hard times where we all miss our dear leader of the family. I get so sick of pretending for everyone. Everyone thinks that I'm fine but truly I cry or have that awful pit in my stomach every day. And yet I go around with a fake smile on my face every day. It's exhausting pretending all the time. And it's not all happiness now that school is finally out. But I really miss all my friends. I have almost no friends around here and even the friends I have don't have any idea what I'm going through. I think they might still feel uncomfortable around me and so I guess they think it's fine to just ignore me. They have no idea how licht that hurts. I just want to know that I have some one to go to when I'm down or whatever but if feel like no one would feel comfortable enough for me to do that. Anyway I just had to write some of it down. Tomorrow is father's day so that will be very hard for me as well. Everybody gets to be daddy's little girl and all I have to hug is a hard cold gravestone. I miss him so much! I can't go anywhere without being reminded of this holiday and having that sharp pain in my chest all the time. So, happy fathers day Daddy! I miss you so much and wish you were there so I could sit on your lap and kiss you on the cheek like I always did before. I love you so much! R.I.P. Xoxo

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