Sunday, April 24, 2011


Well first of all, happy Easter everyone! Today was pretty hard considering it was the first real holiday without my dad.  I think that most of us just tried not to think about it.  The only good thing is the pain has been getting a bit better.  It's not that same constant pain that hits you no matter what you're thinking about. It's a little less painful and it's not constant like in the beginning.  I feel like I've been able to get a little bit more into life itself.  Of course this whole moving thing with my brother isn't helping anything.  I feel like they're completely ignoring it and acting like everything is fine.  Everything is NOT fine.  You're leaving in a week, how is everything just normal and fine? It's not.  Anyway, I guess now I have to act like everything's fine too, even though I feel like I haven't said everything that I feel.  But, what else am I supposed to do?  I guess I just have to accept it.  So, I felt like I was just getting back into life and then another blow comes.  It is so hard, but I have no choice but to try to understand why this is happening to me right now.  I feel like my brother didn't really think about or consider how much I needed him to help me now that dad is gone.  I feel like he just kind of ignored me and my feelings.  I don't know what to think anymore, but I'm sick of pretending that everything is ok, when it's really not.  Anyway, I guess that's what I have to do for now, pretend.  So, happy Easter everyone! I hope you had a great holiday.

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